Solace

Another “guest post” by my wife, Faye Richardson Mayberry

Solace. I saw that word today. It intrigues me. It’s not one we use every day. It’s not a word I hear about often. I do remember hearing it in a hymn we sing at church.

“Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace, when other sources cease to make me whole?”.

It’s not something we want to HAVE to find, because it will take going through some HARD things for us to want to seek after it. Maybe that’s why it intrigues me now.

Just looked it up:

Solace – 1 : Alleviation of grief or anxiety 2 : A source of relief or consolation

Relief…my eyes linger on the word…thinking of Ashton…knowing he was looking for that. I really don’t believe he was trying to end his life. He was too gentle of a soul for that.  I believe he was looking for a release from the misery in his head that he couldn’t tell anyone about.

Turns out… our searches are similar, his and mine.

His broken mind wouldn’t let him feel the love God has for him. He couldn’t find that relief here. I do think he has found it now. Not in the way I thought it would come…but I believe he now knows how much we ALL loved him.

“Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.”

My son’s life was too short, his death came too soon. But, I am so blessed to know that I can find my solace in the life and death of Jesus Christ… though sometimes in my grief I forget.