Sister…. that word brings a smile to my heart. My sisters are my best friends. They each bless me in their own, unique way. Ashton is blessed with one sweet sister friend… Candace.  She is the oldest child in our family and the jelly on our family’s sandwich. She was 7 1/2 years old when Ashton was born on April 30, 1992. She was just finishing 1st grade where we lived in Rockford, Illinois. Candace says she remembers being at school when she found out her mom was in labor with Ashton and was SO excited to go meet him after school! Ashton had to stay in the hospital for a little extra time to be treated for jaundice but Candace remembers coming home from school to the surprise of her new baby brother finally being home from the hospital! Candace remembers Ashton having fussy periods when he was a newborn and she liked trying to soothe him when her mom needed help. One of the ways Candace would get him to stop crying was by holding him over her arm with his belly facing down and swinging him back and forth, swiftly. Candace says she’s not sure how “safe” that movement was for a 7 year old to do…she just knew it made Ashton stop crying momentarily! 🙂 Candace liked to “fly” Ashton over to mom when it was time to be nursed and would say, “Super Baby! Flying over to the Mommy Milky Way Airport!” 🙂

Jordan, newborn Ashton & Candace on Ashton’s blessing day in Rockford, Illinois

When Ashton was an older infant Candace liked to take him to the piano to “pay petty pano”, as she pronounced it, and would say it to him in a high baby talk voice that went higher on the last syllable of the phrase. Ashton did take piano lessons later in his life and his sister Candace was one of his piano teachers. Candace says that teaching Ashton piano didn’t last for very long but she can’t remember exactly why. Perhaps because she got pretty busy during high school. Candace had the sweet experience of accompanying Ashton when he sang a solo during his baptism. He sang with such a sweet, clear voice, with such faith.

Ashton taking piano lessons from his sister, Candace. (Notice the soccer shin guards!)

Candace and Ashton shared a room for awhile when Candace was about 10, Ashton 3. Candace liked to put him to bed at night which was a big help to me. She and Ashton would always say before she left the room, “See ya later Alligator/After while crocodile/Sleep tight/Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” 🙂  During this time she taught him how to tie his shoes.

Candace and Ashton with one of the most beautiful sunsets we have ever witnessed when we lived in the White Mountains of Arizona.

Candace with Dad and brothers at her 8th grade graduation. Ashton… an adoring fan!

Candace going to a Halloween party, with little photo bomber Ashton!

Candace, in high school, with little brothers Jacob and Ashton, before selfies were popular.

Ashton visiting Candace and family in Indiana ~ December 2010

Candace and Ashton ~ March 2010

After his mission, there were 3 safe places where Ashton felt comfortable…  our home, Grandma and Grandpa Richardson’s house and Candace and Jonathan’s home. Wednesday was his day to go visit Candace in Sierra Vista. He would drive over there around noon, watch Dr. Who and play with the kids, who ADORED him, while Candace would get some rest, since she was sick during her last pregnancy. He would sometimes help her clean her floors, which she appreciated IMMENSELY! Ashton looked forward to Wednesdays.

Ashton was so good about playing games with Candace’s kids! He visited them in Indiana twice and Candace and her family LOVED having him each time!

Candace says, “I can’t remember a time when I was ever mad at Ashton when we were growing up. I know that it’s very common to get angry with little brothers but I honestly cannot recall a time when I was. Okay, so actually there was a time when I got a little annoyed with something Ashton did, but I think it was mostly because he did something that made me feel guilty. Ashton was about 7 or 8 years old, so that would have made me about 14 or 15 years old. I must have been having a moody teenager kind of day, being a turd to my mom or something, so when Ashton sweetly approached my mom and asked, “Mom, can I organize the linen closet?” it just BUGGED me (and pricked my soul with guilt for not being that sweet!) that he was being so sweet and wanted to willingly organize the linen closet!! But yeah…that’s just about the only time I can recall being annoyed with Ashton. :)”

By writing this post… I want to honor Candace for the help and strength she has been to us since Ashton’s death. She was pregnant with her 5th child when Ashton died and struggled with some health issues during her pregnancy. She wrote Ashton’s obituary for us when we weren’t able to do it. That was hard for her. She delivered her sweet baby girl, Sadie Ashton, 2 months after her brother Ashton died. She still struggles with grief and new mom emotions. In my readings about grief I’ve read that siblings often get overlooked when a child dies. The emphasis is mostly on the parents. I’m grateful for those who have reached out to Candace to help and strengthen her, too. She has been one that I can talk to about Ashton things. When I’m with her, it’s easy to open up. I feel comfortable with her…. my daughter…. my friend.

Mother & Daughter ~ August 2013

Carter and I  just finished spending a weekend with Candace and Jonathan’s children so they could attend a funeral out of state. I love their sweet children. I love their unique personalities. I hope we get to do that again. I had a lot of fun! My mommy stamina is not what it used to be. I guess it’s called Grandma stamina? I applaud her even more. Being a mother of five is not easy.

I want to close this post with something Candace has written recently:

“I finally finished the book, ‪Allegiant‬, the last book in the trilogy ‪Divergent‬. Ashton & I were reading this at the same time, we both started reading it shortly before he passed away, I was a little ahead of him. He said he thought the series had too much lovey stuff, which I didn’t mind ☺, but did have enough action to keep him interested. 😊 We had a good time reading the same books. I actually give his 10 year old little self ALL the credit for introducing Harry Potter to me, his big 17 year old sister. 😊 Allegiant was laying on the floor by his favorite reading spot in my parent’s living room the day he died. The book stayed right where he left it, by the couch, until my mom realized it was due at the library. I couldn’t read it for awhile, then when I tried to do it…I couldn’t get very far. ‪‎Audible‬ (an audio book app) and a long car drive by myself is finally what got me through it. 😊 I had heard mixed reviews on it’s ending. I won’t give the ending away for anyone but I will say that it actually resonated with me very much. The last line says, ‘We can be mended. We mend each other.’ I believe this.”

Yes, Candace, we can mend each other. Thank you for helping our family in the mending process. You are the sweetness and light our family sandwich needs. I love you!

Written by Faye, with lots of help from Candace.